MyGiftedLife.org

** This thread discusses the content article: Raising Resilient Children **

Gloria Moskowitz-Sweet is one of the most popular lecturers on parenting and education in the San Fransisco Bay Area. The petite brunette mother of three may have developed her charismatic-yet-dignified style of presentation while teaching at San Jose State University, where she has been a faculty member of the School of Social Work for two decades. She balances an air of calm confidence in her own considerable experience with respect for the parents who comprise her audiences.
Formerly a school social worker, Moskowitz-Sweet has been educating parents for more than 25 years. She currently fills counselling and Branch Coordinator roles at Peninsula Parents Place, a non-sectarian support agency operated by Jewish Family and Children's Services of the Bay Area.

Following are highlights from extensive notes which she distributed for a free public lecture in March 2008, titled, "Raising Resilient Children in a Complex World." I have also included brief personal comments as to how some of these criteria interface with issues pertaining to gifted children.

In her introduction, Moskowitz-Sweet defined some qualities of resilience in children, including:

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  The ability to cope with everyday challenges, and to bounce back from disappointments, adversity and trauma.
  


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  The ability to develop clear and realistic goals (and, she added, to find and focus on personal strengths, in order to avoid crushing disappointment.)
  


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  The ability to relate comfortably with others (in other words, social skills.)
  


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  The ability to treat onself and others with respect.
  

Next she described "The Mindset of a Resilient Child" as having some of the following characteristics:

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  They feel special and appreciated .
  -- I note, in the context of raising gifted as well as resilient children, that Tall Poppy Complex-behaviors, such as dumbing down or conforming to the lowest common denominator, etc. are not on Moskowitz-Sweet's list of factors contributing to resiliency.
  


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  They have learned to set realistic goals and expectations for themselves.
  -- Thus, the gifted child's tendencies toward perfectionism/idealism/high standards may prove to be problematic to the point of self-defeat. Which brings us to the next point...
  

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  They rely on productive coping strategies that are growth-fostering rather than self-defeating.
  


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  They are aware of their weaknesses and vulnerabilities, but they also recognize their strengths and talents.
  


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  Their self-image is filled with images of strength and competence.
  


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  They have developed effective interpersonal skills with peers and adults alike.
  


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  They are able to seek out assistance and nurturance in a comfortable, appropriate manner from adults who can provide the support they need.
  


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  They are able to define the aspects of their lives over which they have control and to focus their energy and attention on these rather than on factors over which they have little control.
  

Moskowitz-Sweet also added that the ability to laugh at onself (to have a sense of humor) is important. She then discussed ways that parents can help to form a foundation for resiliency in their children:

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  Being empathic (I took this to be equivalent with the word "empathetic." )
  


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  Communicating effectively and listening actively.
  


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  Changing "negative scripts."
  


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  Loving our children in ways that help them to feel special and appreciated.
  


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  Accepting our children for who they are and helping them to set realistic expectations and goals.
  


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  Helping our children experience success by identifying and reinforcing their "islands of competence."
  


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  Helping children recognize that mistakes are experiences from which to learn.
  


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  Developing responsibility, compassion, and a social conscience by providing children with opportunities to contribute.
  


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  Teaching our children to solve problems and make decisions.
  


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  Disciplining in a way that promotes self-worth (and, she added, also promoting self-discipline in the form of self-regulation.)
  

(Article in progress - to be continued)

I think this article may have been overlooked due to the time it was published. It's a shame it hasn't been finished yet.