MyGiftedLife.org

rainbowfever wrote:
[quote]the idea behind this book, i've gathered, is not to boast or share anything positive about yourself and to always downplay your accomplishments. it also reinforces the importance of praising other people for everything to avoid conflict and "making enemies". i'm especially interested in seeing how other women respond to this idea.

how do you feel about such advice? [quote]

Well, I'm not going to laugh - because crying might be a better option.

As an intellectual I am seriously opposed to the practice of book-burning.

However, this sounds like one of the few that I might make an exception for.... Along with a similar one called "The Rules", and all those "Men are ... Women are... " books. Anyone like to join me for a bonfire party sometime?

spiritj wrote:

Where dynamics such as the Evil Eye, etc. are concerned, people w/low self-esteem and poor boundaries have confused other people's qualities or abilities with their own.

can you elaborate some, if you'd like?

Aha! I'm not the only insomniac on this board...

What I meant by people w/low self esteem and poor boundaries confusing others'abilities with their own...

Some examples might be:

1) A blue-collar family who resents any member who tries to leave that lifestyle, and sabotages them in overt and covert ways. rationalizing their behavior by saying, "Who does s/he think s/he is--somebody different or better than us?"

2) A mother who is competitive with her daughter, instead of supportive; so that, for example, if she is invited out somewhere the mother will either try to prevent her from going; state (irrelevantly) that *she* can go places *too*; insist on going *with* the daughter, so as to share the limelight and not be separated or abandoned; or otherwise try to control the outing (by being a backseat driver; insisting on a curfew, telling you to change clothes, etc.)

3) Women who gossip and control due to nothing more than their own insecurities/incompetence and vapidness. "You can't drive there at night--it's too far." (This was said to me by an extremely controlling, elderly woman who had to stop driving at night perhaps 20 yrs. earlier.) This was despite the fact that I've driven on 3 different continents...on the Autobahn...in reverse-engineered cars...on the opposite side of the road...by myself, in the dark, to a campground in the middle of nowhere--located over hairpin-dirt roads, on the other side of the planet...etc.

Like I said: boundary issues! They presume entitlement to control other people's very identity--notjust their behavior.