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Home Articles Gifted Adults Exploring Grownup Giftedness: What's the Point
Exploring Grownup Giftedness: What's the Point PDF Print E-mail
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Articles - Gifted Adults
Written by Lisa Lauffer   
Wednesday, 11 November 2009 04:38

Over the summer I had the privilege of prototyping my new coaching program for gifted adults with a couple of encouraging, engaged (and engaging!) friends. I was pleasantly surprised by what I learned, most of which supported the research I've done and the services I plan to offer.

I was also surprised by the response of one friend's husband. Himself a gifted grownup, he said to his wife (my prototype client) "Really? You're going to look into your giftedness as an adult? Really?" In other words, "What's the point?"

Other than him calling into question the entire focus of my coaching practice, I understand. In fact, I understand a great deal. For those of us who have felt out-of-step with the mainstream all our lives, why look into the potential of giftedness and where it might lead us in the future? After all, whether identified as gifted children or not, I'd venture to say we all experienced misunderstanding, confusion, and rejection. Why bring all that up again? What impact could it possibly have on us as adults? Isn't "gifted" just a label we use to understand our quirky kids and attempt to obtain the educational interventions they need...and not a label relevant to adulthood?

The more time I spend interacting with gifted adults (whether they know they're gifted or not), the more I know I'm on the right track. I've talked with many of you who have finally experienced that "aha" feeling that accompanies the realization that many of your struggles past and present could be attributed to your giftedness: to those pesky gifted qualities--such as your energy, intensity, sensitivity, and your wacky sense of humor--and to how others react when you express those characteristics.

That "aha" feeling alone is reason to address your adult giftedness. Here are some additional benefits to acknowledging your giftedness as a grownup:

  • You can make sense of your childhood experiences and experience healing from the wounds inflicted via those experiences.
  • If you're a stay-at-home mom, you'll now understand why your role doesn't completely fulfill you. Your mind races, and as bright as your children probably are, reciting ABCs with them repeatedly won't meet your needs for intellectual stimulation. You can now admit--without guilt--your need for greater mental challenges and find ways to meet it.
  • You'll comprehend why you've switched jobs so often. You have multiple interests and abilities, and once you've reached a status-quo point at work, your entire self wants to run toward a new challenge. Others may call this flaky; for you, this is survival. In realizing this, you can determine how to cope with it.
  • You know why you don't connect with some people, and why those people sometimes give you the strangest stares. They truly don't understand what you're saying, and you can accept this.
  • You know you need to find gifted others, and that when you do, they'll totally understand you. You'll find a tribe of people who will validate you and your experiences.
  • You can leverage your gifted characteristics to your advantage. For example, you know that you frequently develop answers to problems before other people do. You may not know how you reach your conclusions, but you know you're right. You can now begin to trust and use your intuition more freely to serve yourself and others.
There is a point to exploring giftedness as a grownup, and this is it: if you are a gifted person, you can only live the life you were meant to live if you acknowledge and integrate your giftedness into your adult life. How do you explore your giftedness to this end? Stay tuned, and you'll find out!
© 2009 Lisa Lauffer
Last Updated on Tuesday, 17 November 2009 19:47
 
Discuss (19 posts)
Re:Exploring Grownup Giftedness: What's the Point
Jul 27 2010 06:34:50
I think some branches of Google are still like that. Might as well try seeing if they'll give you the time of day, especially if you're willing to relocate. They've never given me an interview but I haven't tried very hard to get one, because I know I'd have to relocate in order to work in one of the Google facilities where they do what I'm good at doing. I'm not free to move at this time.

My university hired me initially on the basis of certain achievement-oriented qualifications that clearly showed I had to be way bright, but also because I had some experience with doing stuff (tech writing) that they needed right away. To start with, I got an interview at all because several of my friends kept telling their boss they wanted him to hire me. Eventually he told them to get him my resume, and a month later I had a job there. So it was a combination of personal connections, some unusual qualifications and being in the right place at the right time.

However--I went there straight from a job in retail, where I'd landed after leaving my first try at graduate school. And I had a (very good) liberal-arts degree and no direct experience with a computing research environment. So there was some open-mindedness involved on the part of my boss. I was a tech writer for only two months; after that I was a researcher.

I was able to stay there and hang onto employment (soft money--grants run out after a year or two so a project is always chasing the next grant) after that, because of what I'd shown I could do. That was fairly gratifying. Had I not been useful and able to work well in a team I'd have been out at the end of a funding cycle, probably within a year or two. I lasted over 14 years and left voluntarily.

The (Western) world is largely run by and for bright normals (I know I've said that before) and much of it is run by corporate normals. They do power, they do status, they don't easily do creativity and they tend to signal their comfort zones via a high degree of conformity. I think of it as a foreign culture, but the conformity means there are actual rules and they can be learned, at least enough to enable reasonable self-defense. There are even people who make their living helping other people learn the rules (career coaches.) Still, it's hard for somebody who isn't naturally inclined to these practices to stick with them; it can be stifling and create a lot of inner conflict.

Internet-dependent business in general is maturing, and mature corporations tend to move to more-conforming internal practices over time, simply because they get too big to be nimble. But nerd-founded companies tend to have more gifted-friendly working environments.

Another effect of fields maturing is the sort of professionalism you refer to, where the official credential is the sine qua non. Colleges survive (some thrive) on providing the credentials; gangs of like professionals form and erect protectionistic barriers to entry into their profession. Companies use this as a kind of first-pass quality assurance--cheap for them since they don't have to maintain the barriers themselves, and because those who make it past the gate are guaranteed to be able to tolerate some meaningful level of conformity. Whether or not a given individual can do the job falls far down the list. Rightly or not, that's the way it tends to work.

If there's any subtext to my ramblings here, I guess it could be that it might pay to find an enjoyable field of endeavor that's still in flux and see whether you like it. Good luck, in any case.
#2745
Re:Exploring Grownup Giftedness: What's the Point
Jul 27 2010 12:19:00
My husband is an Engineer. He truely likes designing things even though the most lucrative pay is in sales. My husband is keenly aware that a degree in any field is not a promise of talent or ability and he ends up preferring the non-degreed engineer for a number of reasons:

They don't expect automatically to start out owning the company because they have a degree (and debt).

The fun fizzles after the person who chose engineering in college realizes they don't actually like engineering but they have that degree so they are committed.

A self directed learner usually sustains eagerness because they spring from their true desire to want to be doing what it is they are doing.

On the job training is far more valuable than a degree from any college. At least, that is what my husband says. After years of hiring he is pretty certain that those with degrees tend to have a sense of entitlement based soley in the degree they hold and not the contribution they make. When he is hiring he doesn't look for a degree but he doesn't disqualify it. I think with the economy more companies are open to hiring people who are underqualified on paper but make up for it in work ethic and desire to know.
#2747
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